im so unhappy now.
very not happy.
mummy stole my 19inch monitor and replaced a 17inch for me.
and im not gonna get used to it!
so v small.

argh.....
and i gotta reformat my com now.
i hope it'll turn out ok since i always make a mess when i reformat.
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die, most prob drinkin again tml night.
tell me. how can i concentrate on my exams!
and my exams is just 3days aft today.
uh oh.....

anw i went crazy today, aft studyin at sch.
i went shoppin ard ps and spent crazily alone.

and oh yes, the cust serv nowadays really sucks.
thinkin back the days where i was still a sales assistant.
comparing, its really bad now.
hais.
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i think im gettin overstrained!
even thou i've nt really been studyin intensively,
but im still getting tired aft awhile, despite slpin at 12 everynight.
compared to previously, i slpt at 2.

and and,
my injured leg has muscle aches nw.
my good leg's feet was sprain by tt day and have nt recover yet.
and my right hand suddenly feel so heavy and strengthless.
very 'suan', they call it.
must be ytd, pushin myself ard the hse.
then i feel so feverish nw, must be due to being drenched in drizzle
came home, didnt bathe first then went to bed immed.
then, most of all, i have a sore throat.

life so bad to me when exams are coming. damn.
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cheryl's birthday celebration was fun.
but i fell down on my way home.
i know its v stupid to fall down at my age.
but mind u, i was getting tipsy and walkin ard with a 3inch heels.
haha. and the wound is like small kid while playin catching and fall down tt kind.

wonder how long will it take for the scar to go away. hmms.
and plus i cant walk now.
the wound dried up and i cant stick my leg straight.
so i cant walk. yes i cant walk.
i've been pushing myself ard the hse sitting on an office chair.
and so i didnt do any studying today. cus i cant go sch by myself.
so sad lor. one day of pubbing and i lost so many days to study.
namely sunday and monday.

anw the present for cheryl.
its a very sweet and girlish musical box. from me and anthony.

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happy 250th post in this blog.

and i've cried twice jus nw. within an hr can.
first was cus of the telly. the bloody 9pm .
the show was so sad.
make me cry for 3 days straight.
either im too tired then i cry or cus the show's really sad.

ok then when the show finished, i went back to my room.
then on the way i step on a bloody grasshopper!!
the small young grasshopper was only as long as 1/3 of my small finger.
then i fuckin step on it.
and i cry and whine like a small kid.
stomping on the flr shouting for mummy while crying.
didnt stop crying until i ran to the bathrm, washed my leg throughly
then ran out. and mummy gave me a great big hug.
then my crying stop.

ok it may seem silly but pls dont judge other ppl by what u fear/do not fear.
diff ppl have diff level of tolerance.
and i simply cant tolerate stepping in insects or touching birds, cats, dogs.
maybe polar bears too, despite i love them to bits.
if really one day, i were to accidently touched a cat, i think i'd cry for e whole day.
if one day i were to touched a pigeon, i think i'll cry for a wk.
and therefore having depression and traumatised by it for e rest of my life.

my stomach's v bad aft eating pineapples.
but im off to boatq nw.
GD NIGHT!
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i didnt go studying at sch today.
i couldnt wake up.
at the time where mummy was suppose to call hm and wake me up,
then i call her first and tell her:
dont wake me up.
i wan to slp, dont want to go sch revise today.

then i set my alarm few hrs later,
thought tt maybe i'll go sch at a later time.
and in the end i woke at 1.30pm.
bloody shit.

and i had nowhere to go.
so i went to skcc, also to the postoffice to do smth.
then i stay for ard 20mins at skcc to study.
then went roaming ard compass.
sat the the library's kids corner, cus tts the only place which has a table in the whole library.
LOUSY LIBRARY.
the kids were fucking noisy.
i almost wanted to scream at them.
yes i hate children.

oh oh, and i bought cheryl her birthday present too.
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i went back to school to study today.
there were 3 study rooms available in the morning.
2 of them were at 2nd flr, which i'd need an access card to get into.
and which i can, no. im suppose to get the access card for fking 8dollars.
and which im so stingy and i dont want to pay cus i dont have classes on the 2nd flr,
neither do i need access to the library.

so i went early in the morn.
thinkin tt woah. so early, sure got seat at the 4th flr one.
the study rm were open at maybe 9.45?
i reached at 10 and all occupied can??!!

and then i had no choice to go sneaking ard the 2nd flr and see if there's anyone tt opens the door and i can mingle my way in.

i sneaked in successfully.
then aft an hr plus i wanted to smoke.
so i went roaming ard the area, and everywhere, they need an accesscard to get to.
even out.
then so i went loithering ard the exit, waiting for ppl to tap out.
haha. it was damn funny.
and luckily it was their 15mins breaktime, so alot of ppl were going in and out.
and aft smoke, still alot of ppl.
so lucky me. if not i'll have to be locked outside with my books + bag inside.

then comes 1pm. quickly rushed to th 4th flr and chop a seat in the study room.
else would be all occupied.
like so kaisu rt.

and i forgot to bring my writing pad with me.
so i went to the material collection area and asked if they're selling.
then they gave me a stack of plain a4 papers.
how sweet.

and to conclude, imma gd girl today.
i stick my stupid fucking butt in the classroom from 10 to 5.20pm.
nt counting the times i went out to smoke la.
i even forego my lunch break.
i bought burger in the morn and munch em in the aftnn while revising.

and... i saw handsome.
yea i saw handsome.
I SAW HIM. haha.
i saw him while i was on the way to 4th flr to find a seat.
and i saw him a few hrs later when i was in the study room.
someone came in, open the door.
i looked up, and i saw handsome walked past and glanced into the room
so coincidence rt. RIGHT??
muahahahhaahhahah.
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i am v pissed off by my lecturer.
because of the notes she gave.
so bloody messy tt i cant even study.
and i feel like im wasting my time trying to read the lecture notes.
cus the same bloody thing can repeat itself for afew times throughout the notes.

the messiest notes i've ever rec'd in my life.
and she can even tell us, yea the notes is abit messy.
u all should try to rearrange the notes urself.
fuck.

still, handsome notes is the best.
clearcut and straight to the point.
yes, i wont be able to see handsome until july or jan i think.
then i'll be attending his class again.
either im repeating on july because i failed this sem
or going up to a higher module on jan which he's gonna be teaching as well.
or unless i see him randomly by the corridor.

gone were the good old days of ogling him in class.
ops.
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i went over to mall for take away dinner and on the way to buy cigg downstairs.
i dont know what's wrong with me or what
but everything turns out wrongly.
like as if i have a 'bully me' written on my forehead.

i was queuing for my mac when suddenly a small boy splash water on me.
he was holding on to the old nike waterbottle which when u press,
then the water squirts out.
yes, he squirt the water on my leg.
i turned ard and he gave me tt innocent face.
with the waterbottle nozzle facing him, not me.
like as if trying to tell me, not me mdm, not me.
i feel so bloody *(^*^%^%*&.
u dont expect me to scold him or what right.
even thou i badly feel like hitting him on the face.
not even a sorry.

so sadly and helplessly, i could only give him a disgusted face and turned ard.

nxt, i went to buy cigg at the shop below my blk.
near my blk to be excat.
a young man was on shift then.
by a young man i mean ard my age. and he has a fking attitude prob.
his face is like. those norm ppl see alr will want to slap him.
like those "kiam pa bin"
i've seen him ard the shop a couple of times alr.
but today, i went to buy cigg and i gave him a big note.
so he changed 4notes of 10$ for me.
and he fking put the notes on the counter.
and the notes was like, messy.
some were folded into halves, some were facing the other side.
which means i had to spent like a few secs to rearrange the notes,
and i only had 1 hand to do it cus i was holding on to my dinner with the other hand.

so, does my face really look like as if im gd to bully?
if not why did 2 diff person bullied me within half an hr.
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went for visiting today.
broke down in tears today.

pms and pre exams stress.
need i say mre?
im jus too tired. every small thing makes me cry easily nw.
even the big rain today.
i was talkin to qiangqiang then suddenly a loud thunder rang.
then i cried..

aft the visiting session was over, i stood facing the carpark
while waitin for korkor to collect my bag.
i told korkor "eh see that sp there, look like qiangqiang de bike hor"
then he say "later go there see carplate lor"

then aft tt we ran to the carpark to shelter frm the big rain!
and really!!! his bike. his stupid 7719. haha.
then i went over to have a closer look.
everything was still the same except his and my name were gone.
haha.

so coincidence.

then i went over to tp to study for the exams.
stayed at the library mugging for 2hrs straight.
then sr came back to tp and fetched me to sk.

slpt like a log until mummy was so furious tt she actually screamed at me to wake up.
haha. cus if i cont slping, then i wonldnt be able to slp at night..
then tml morning i'll be v tired.

i've been hitting the sack only at am 2 for almost a few days alr.
and waking up as early as 8am.
i know tt 6hrs of slp which is actually enuf for adults.
(p/s: 8hrs is for old babies and young children.)
but u throw in the stress, misc.. not quite enuf.

and i lived my life like a bullet train for the past few days.
sitting down and thinkin abt it nw, idk what im rushing for.
but the problem is that i cant help rushing!
i cant help being 'kiasi'....

anw im not going joggin ard.
my leg feels too fragile nwadays to go jogging.
stew says im old alr.
haha. and nw i feel like my arms looks like a drumstick.
i wan to do some pushups but im too tired to do so.

im off to the telly nw, then muggin for exams.
which is just 18days away.
btw im going to the sgflyer on sat. so so lookin forward.
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im in a v much mood not to blog.
im bored of blogging.

however, more bored of studying.

the idea of sneaking out has been appearing in my head.
and the goddamn friends keep on drink drink drink.
its really hard to confine myself at home.
esp when the long wkend is coming ard.
and everyone elses goes drinking man!


anw i had sch today. the same module for 6 hrs, excluding an hr break.
so i sit in class for tt hour break too.
and resulted in numbness in backside at ard the 5th hour.
like so poor thing.
i had to concentrade. then my backside is hurting me.
i wish i could bring a cushion tml.
else, a bed would be better right.


seriously, im alr blinded by the material world alr.
so blind until i dont feel anything already.
maybe simplicity is still the best choice of all.
but simplicity doesnt equates to poverty.
would u be able to meet the necessary demands for daily stuffs nxt time?
sorry but i doubt so.
i wish i could say it right to ur face.
but u know i nv will.
because im still living in the childish world where love is bigger than anything.
u locked me in.
somehow, i want to get out.
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i am in a bad mood today.
im so angry with mummy.

she didnt ask me if i wan dinner or not.
she'd asked me last time.
nw she didnt.

and i was so bloody hungry.
and pissed bcause she didnt buy dinner back for me.
so i actually went to rivervale mall specially just to get my dinner.

when i came back, she said.
"u go down mall and buy dinner ah.
like i torture u likdat."
then i said.
"no meh. nv even ask me want what for dinner"

hais. life..

p/s: i've started setting up my study corner.
which was abit late compared to last time.
there's only less than a mth to the exams.
which normally, i'd set up the studying corner 1mth since the exam.
and stop using the com or going out.
but this sem, im totally not interested in studying anymore.
im starting to get real damn lazy.
and im so so damn lookin forward to the post exams period.
mummy's alr considering a holiday.

yea, let me get away for a while.
im really sick and tired of all tts happening ard me.
gonna collapse soon.
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shawn met me up for supper at jln kayu.
he changed new car!
then we ask paul if he wants to join us.
then he rejected us.
aftwards when we left jln kayu alr then he said he wanted to come down.
indecisive! haha.

theni met up with kh.
went for Ironman midnight ytd @amk.
very nice! and very handsome. haha.

and then aft the show kh and me went past buangkok.
and he showed me the kampung style houses.
which i was 'wahhing' all the way.
who'd guess behind the urban blks of buangkok,
there'll be a stretch of hses made of wood.
then i reach home at 5am.
and collasped on bed before kh reached home.

but anw, ironman was nice.
the 2hr movie is worth catching!
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i went studying at mac with kh today.
we're like so power.
althou most of it doesnt get into my brain.
but we stayed there for ard 6hrs.

but my eye starts to get dry cus i woke up early for visiting today.
so we went home at 8.

might be due to the fact that i've been in a bloody good damn mood lately.
we laughed alot at today's visit.
the good old times.
i jus cant help but to laugh at anything everything.
stop my too-good mood pls.
btw im having lessons on tml, which is Labour Day.
but im still all smiles.
wipe that smile off my face!

calm comes before storms.
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