woke up early early morning.
suddenly got reminded of the past.
awww...
i hate waking up early in the morn.
i hope i can wake at 5pm everyday.
jus an hr and a half before mummy reaches home.

and my blood vessel is bursting.
my eye hurts. right the spot where Mr. cgh Doctor operated on me.
sharp pains.
then when i pull down and i saw 1 or 2 RED VESSEL(S).
lol. it's not suppose to be RED.
so scary. im hope im nt going blind. :(

it's damn PAINFUL...
but i wanna go out leh!!

everytime treats me likdat!!
wan to go out tt time got this got that.
nothing tt time no places to go.
damn.


wouldnt it be great if i could jus reveal my heart to someone?
instead of communicating.
with communication comes miscommunication.
haha.



anw i jus realised tt i fail in my making to be FULLTIME hsewife.
cus i was boiling water in the kettle.
and i forgot abt it....
and it kept boiling for 1hr.
i heard some noise in the kitchen when i was in my room.
then i tot was some other units making the sound.
i didnt even fkin thought of the kettle.

i better not do tt again..
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i went to school today.
even thou i was 10mins late.
but i still went.
and i didnt fall aslp in class.
actually credits to toastbox kopi o.

and i almost cried today!
not becus of anything but because of my nds.
the stupid game 'professor layton'
make me love and hate.

it's a puzzle game with storyline.
a game with 120 brainteasers.
i tried so hard to solve everything.
in the end i cant. and i was screaming and pulling my hair.
and tears swelled up in my eyes.

but in e end i completed the whole game in 15 hrs.
of cus not continuous la.
but the total hrs i spent on tt game was 15.

sot alr. i love the brainteasers but it makes me feel stupid.
u know u know? tt kinda feeling.
u wanna challenge but when u cant solve, u feel stupid.
argh.. damn.
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i love my neighbourhood.
except for the stray cats, that is.
they distributed a pc of paper to each unit today.

they showed 3 diff coat of painting on the notice board at e lift area.
and on the paper, it says, telling us to vote for our desirable coat of paint for our blk.
haha. i didnt get this kinda privileges previously when i was leaving at hg!

mummy's on leave today.
and she came down to lunch with me at delifrance while i was having my sch break.
i was so reluctant to leave her alone at delifrance while i proceed to sch for handsome's lesson.
she looked so small and vulnerable. -.-

anw, im having lesson on a sunday.
on this coming pathetic sunday.
which means, i cant go saturday drinking.
which indirectly means, poor me.



Oh. and and and..
i've thrown away our movie's stub.
yet another big and cruel step to me to end this relationship.
haha. into the dustbin it goes.
but i didnt throw away the zoo stub.
i've been wanting to go to the zoo even before i met him..
it is not an excuse!

and mummy's bought the muffin making equipment.
im going to make muffins soon.. without him helping nor tasting.
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argh. im sorry.
nt too much tt need to be said.
i'll just be repeating myself.

life's a little smooth sailing.
until i feel tt i dont deserve all this.

tml will be a long and lonely day at sch.
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LG released 2 more colours for viewty.
which is the mobile im currently using now.
not that black doesnt look nice.
but im just not happy tt when i bought e phone,
it doesnt come with the choice of colour.
and somehow i love e dark silver one too.
argh.. been pissed for 2 days cus of this alr.

anw. mummy had headache for almost a wk now alr.
been to the doctor alr.
doc says if it worsen, she'll have to go to the hosp for scanning.
and my eyes isnt in a gd condition now.

how come 2008 gives us so many health problems?


but still, give me a pat on e back say i did great.
i've learnt to let go of smth tt wasnt suppose to be mine.
aft struggling for so long.

i've change his personalised ringtone and picture in my mobile.
it took me alot of courage to delete the precious 3 text msg frm him.
he's now just like any other normal ppl to me.

goodbye.
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three cheers for the rain.
but however, it spoilt my mood to go for a hair cut.
i hadnt had a haircut for more than 6 mths alr.
no wonder my hair wouldnt grow any longer.

went drinkin with huanbin and his friends ytd.
coincidentally met my friend and Obird while drinkin.
my friend reminded me of tt shitass.
and so, had a angry and sad night.
until now i still cant believe im so gullible.
i hope he really means what he says to get it back.
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my ever fav song.
he knows it.
maybe it's tucked in e most inner part of his memory?
haha.

im reserving the name 'Marshall' for my baby boy next time.
all thanks to Eminem.
but dont say too early.
i might be infertile nxt time. HAHA.

anw i saw handsome's muscle today!
it wasnt a wasted trip to sch.
like totally. omg omg.
guess it doesnt really show when u wear shirts.
jus like shawn's and paul's.

ok. stoping. im drooling.

off to drinking.
but mre to the playing side then drinkin side.
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today's weather was a teaser.
it was rainin in e late morning.
and i was still lookin forward to a cold night at hm under my blanket.
who knows. suddenly e evening became as hot as Singapore.

and im even worst off.
aft mummy continuous headache for 3 days alr,
i had diarrhoea for 2 days straight.
and while i was busy gluing my buttocks to my beloved toilet bowl,
mummy walk past me and say

"oh ya hor. tml holiday dont need to work"
then i said. "for u it's gd lor" as i have sch tml morning.
then she replied almost instantaneously.
"aiyo. u tml got sch hor. sry sry"
".........."

im like. so sad la.
everybody's so happening today.
like as if it's xmas or what.
i wanna go too..
be it movies, drinking or meeting up with old friends.
argh....

but tml's lesson is by handsome.
worth the while ah. haha. =X
poor handsome, he has to work on a public too.

6 more days to go before visiting.
hurray!.
i swear to heaven and earth i die die will wake up and be there.
show me the power of love man!
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i hate living under ---.
why is my life is determined by ---.

hw come everytime i debate within myself.
and i made up my mind internally to let all this go
then u have to come back and make me change my mind.
and u dont even know what is happening.

why doesnt anybody come and save me frm this shit.
nobody stop me frm being selfish.
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it's candy floss day today!

just washed the dishes!
like so long i haben done it.
cus mummy's ill!

she came home without my mos burger which i was so excited to gulp down.
and before she reach the doorstep, she called and had me open e gate for her.
poor mummy.

i hate happy families.
cus im jealous.
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i cooked my hand
and splattered my books in coffee ytd.
all just because i wanted my coffee to cool faster.

worst is that i spilled it in class.
was damn paiseh and malu.
i turned to the left and ask this guy if he has any tissuses.
he took a bloody 1min to open his bag and slowly tell me he doesnt have.
then i turned to my right and e lady gave me tissuses, both wet and dry ones.
thank god for her.

and my hand was so bloody pain that i was trembling.

but it's somehow kinda gd.
haha. now everytime i study i'll smell coffee on my bks.
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im fucking happy today.
dont ask me what's with the f word.
im jus too happy until i cant find a gd describing word to use.

maybe the weather?
maybe the school?
maybe the maybe.. haha.

i was like. on the bus, listening to lollipop mika.
and then i felt the happiest.
happiest woman on earth.
for what i dont even know.
perharps it's better that i dont know anyway.
haha.

so tt i'll cont being so fucking happy.



i love the weather now.
it feels like overseas.
except all my friends are still with me.
i love it.
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i went zouk ytd!
like for e first time in my life ok.
haha. cus i dont normally go clubbing.

but we went to a club for pubbing.
club and pub. what's e diff?
one is with drinking one is nt.

ok and i end up drunk.
partially drunk.
and i was like sitting on timo's cousin's leg on the front sit.
cus he wont fking move to the back. and i die die wan to sit in frnt.

and someone was drunk. he even said im the prettiest woman.
than when he's sober he said sorry to me.
so sad. he didnt mean what he fking say. haha.
but we left him sitting on e flr in e ladies while we go pubbing at 97.
like so bad rt. but kinda no choice.

ok and so comes the serious one.
i cant wake up the next day, which is today, to go and visiting him.
i think it's becoming like a habit.
i cant carry on like this.......................
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things are happening v fast and recurring.
why does this always comes back to haunt me aft awhile.

anw i've been tryin to get myself addicted to online games.
but cant.

tried on cabal but it's makin me dizzy and com's kinda lagging.

tried o2jam back again but this time i cant go into e game.
been stuck on the choose channel there and cant advance anymore.
either e game is spoil or my installation has some problems.

thinkin of going back to audition but im too lazy to dl.
and furthermre no one pei me play.

so im back to sq1 again.
nothing to do but stone in frnt of computer all day long.
except occasionally on ndsl.
phoniex wright - apollo justice is out.
and im so much so hooked to apollo justice until i dont dare to proceed further and faster.
in case i finish the game fast and left with nothing to play.
...................................
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sg is turning not like sg anymore.
saw e night news.
some guy stabbed another guy.
and hold 2 commuters hostages in outram platform.
and finally got shot to death by police.
i mean the murderer died.

sg is raved to be a safe country.
why is it turning to be like that all of a sudden.
like so many criminal stuffs suddenly cramp into this period of time.
how cool is that, you think?

been having a fruitless search on msn for him again.
tryin onto some gov sites and hoping to dig out some info.
FRUITLESS.
where the fuck are you.........
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MY CAKE LOOKS TOTALLY DELICIOUS.
ok the moment of truth.
it does taste quite ok.
except for the whipped cream which taste abit.. erm..
weird.
it's not spoilt nor sour or anything.
just weird.

ok the king's gonna retire frm his seat in 1 and half hr time.
happy birthday.

having sch tml.
long thurs and friday........
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chef taiying speaks:
haha! my cake stil looks like a cake right!
my first attempt. haben tasted it yet. so dunno pass or fail.

anw my cake is v flat la! i didnt whip it enough.
so it's only half a size of a normal cake.
but i whipped it for an hr leh!
hugging the mixing bowl, holding a whisk on my right hand
watchin bleach on animecrazy. FOR AN HOUR.
until my hand got blister alr.

and yes, the white stuffs looks like icing suga. but it's whipped cream.
didnt put alot of whipped cream cus he cant taste milk.
how can someone dont like whipped cream.
how can someone vomit at the smell of milk!!??

AND
whipped cream is not easy to make!
i cut open the packet and it's all watery.
scare me! i tot i bought the wrong thing.
then i went youtube and watch on 'how to make whipped cream'
u have to whipped it frm liquid form to semi solid!
so hard. ok so he whipped the cream. not me. haha.

and i keep tellin him.
"hello, im the chef today. dont tell me what to do hor. FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS!"
haha.

his big day is tml. so the cake is saved for tml.
results of tasting will only be out tml.
i wonder how it taste like. my first attempt. ;)
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cake baking is tml.
im so lookin forward to it.
i hope it turns out fine.

anw mummy bought pork floss back.
was bothering her to buy it for quite sometime.

i cried at the kopitiam today!
luckily there were only 3 ppl at the kopitiam.
i swear im nv going kopitiam to eat again.

a bird flew so near to me.
and he was away talkin on e phone.
damn. then i cried.
then i found a strand of hair in my noodle.
mine or the vendor's i dont know.
but do u even eat ur own hair?
and flies buzzing ard.
nv ever... again.

walk back the old routes today.
went to punggol plaza and bought bubbletea again.
then to punggol mrt.
just that i was on a motorbike then, motorcar now.
and a totally diff person beside me.

the gd old times i'll nv forget, my dearest.
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no more water in the kettle.
and im reduced to drinkin tap water instead.

jus finish flipping thru wanbao.
so the police classified mas selamat the same rank as osama.
and his limbs actually dont look lame if he walks at normal speed.

how difficult to identify then..

went bq for consecutive 2 nights.
but didnt ger drunk on both nights!
yea, so i acutally did honour my promised nt to get drunk.
and both days i wake up perfectly fine.
stomach didnt feel uneasy and such.

i shall maintance it likdat.
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went boatquay drinkin ytd.
cus oldbird claim it was a special day ytd.
yea, talkin abt the leap yrs tt only occur once in 4 yrs.

we were joking abt gettin married on tt day.
so couples can save up the money and only celebrate weddin anniv once every 4 yrs.

didnt get so drunk ytd.
so felt okay when i woke up.
haha. hurray!

mike was talkin abt qiang.
really miss him.
he can really drink!
but i guess aft he comes out his liquor strength wont be like last time le.
miss miss.

but i didnt wake up in time to go shoppin with sr.
suppose to wake at 12 but i woke at only 3.
so later im going hgmall with mummy.
everytime i go hgmall im sure to coincidently bump into old friends.

im going to buy baking 'equipments' later.
and gonna bake my cake on coming mon, tues or wed.
mummy was quite happy when she heard tt.
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