saw darling today.
went totally speechless.
didnt quite know wad to say.
e atmosphere was tense.
and darling cried.
which made me cried. and eyeliner smudged

and darling cried while saying how he worry for mi when it rained at 7pm ytd
i love him so.
but i need someone to tell me:




totally disappointed. not with darling.
but smth else.

can understand how darling feels.
but sometimes, somethings are jus nt within my control.



misses him everyday on e way hm.
but today, finally i reach hm before e sun left sg.

and i skipped breakfast today.
cus i woke early today. and didnt wan to wake mummy up to make breakfast.
and my breakfast was actually just 1drink of milo cereal.
but by skipping it today, i became super hungry today.
eat mee, 6 biscuits, 1 milo, 1sweet potato fried, 1 honeydew, 1 plate of pasta.
and im stil hungry.

therefore, breakfast is impt! lol.
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i've got my monday and tuesday all planned out.
gotta go down to town to get my pay.
and do some shoppings.

tues i'll be able to see him again.
but not tml. cus i forgotten to tel my sup tt i'll be reachin work at 10
so have to delay to tuesday.

i hope darling wun be angry nor disappointed
u know i love u. i jus couldnt find e time.






and lotsa thanks again to those who cared.
those who asked mi to be strong again and again
those who offered to be a listening ear
=)





ps:
some dumb dumb smsed mi and asked who am i
replied: siao ars u. u msg me ask mi who m i.

followed by a call frm tt no.

and asked if im so and so fwen.
he explained he had my no. in his hp.
but i dun have his no. in my hp!!
so i jus hang up his phone.

and im so-so sry but im not in e mood to plae the oh-u're-who-and-who-fwen game.
gosh. i didnt know tis kinda ppl stil exist.
but maybe i should have jus told him off politely.
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mosquito bites are killing me.
it jus swells up like nobody business.

lotsa things to tell darling.
but words jus cant seem to come out when i see him.

lotsa things to tell him
lotsa new song to let him hear
lotsa complaints to him

oh-jus-so-lonely.


but as long as i know
darling loves me
and i love him too
tt's enuf for this period of time.
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feeling real uneasy tis few days


been doing e wrong thing at work and got lotsa scolding
everything jus seems wrong without him.

i hate e sun for going home before i did.
i hate to walk home everynight in e dark, thinking abt him
i jus hate it! y cant i reach hm before 6pm while its stil bright.

god's supposedly trainin me to be independent.
but y me. lotsa and lotsa nonindependent girls ard.





workplace, everyone said i've quieten down.
some said dey miss my laughter.
hearing tt really pains my heart.
i didnt wanted to be like this.
i couldnt eat i couldnt slp.
i tot i could get on with life. i've tried. really.
but wen e sun's down, im full of heartache.





it has only been less than a wk.
how can i survive in e few yrs.
y cant i be strong
Y CANT I BE STRONG
Y CANT I BE STRONG??!!


until now. i stil drop tears everyday....




saw darling twice since i came back.

he's slim down. pains my heart.
tried to bring mag for him to read but it bounced back.
cus my itchy fingers tampered with e mag.
got a stern warning which gave me low low moral at e start of e day.
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seems like smth grave pops out.
not v nice to elaborate.
wouldnt be blogging as frequent






i told u again and again. y didnt u listen.
i told u tt was e last time.
u did it behind my back.

but y. y must ur family and i suffer also.
i tot we had a deal.
u'll come and meet me aft i arrive.

wad will happen to my zoo trip.
who will accompany me to shop.
who will be there for me 24/7.

darling i need u alot.
u've changed me. and i love u for tt.

i'll be there. even if it takes forever.
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work's not worth mentioning.
dun wan to make myself sad by repeating wad i heard.

i've have to just pretend i didnt hear it and carry on
its too hard. in e working world.




basically, friday didnt go anywhere
saturday, went to shurong's family chalet.
sunday was jus rotting at home.
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tml's friday again.
duno go wer and whack.
pls give mi some idea!!!



and today, things turn out quite unexpected.
and i dun like e way it is.
and now i think im unreasonable, stupid
i feel jus like a bimbo. XC

and lynn bought mi a bracelet cus i help her to pack e storerm.
vvv happy even thou its jus a cheap bracelet.

shopping tml definitely. rain or shine.
and mummy jus reminded me
nxt wk's today, we'll be in tw already.
shopping shopping.
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omg im so fugly today, and ytd, and prolly tml and tml tml.
i swear i've nv been so ugly before in my whole life.

i have a fugly PIMPLE
and its fuglily planted at my lips.
my lip line to be exact.
and its really ugly and big i feel like crying.

tts it abt this pimple. dun start rubbing salt into my wound.


work is stil e same thing and same word i have to use
EXTRA.

was packing e accounts storeroom and placing yrs and yrs of historical files into cartons.
feels like a warehse job instead. lols.
but i'll jus have to keep myself busy with tt. no choice.

and recently i came up with a know-ur-character question
jus ask urself. if a fwen of urs tells u " hey, there got dinosaur"
and there's obviously no dinosaur.
wad will u reply??

qiang started off by saying. "ya correct. v big one. come and eat u already"
LOL. so tt means he is someone tt can take jokes.

my colleagues said smth like
"keep quiet. ignore he/she"
tis kinda ppl is boring.
not much entertainment.

"u siao ars"
no jokes accepted for tis kinda ppl.
dey wil prolly rem wad u joke abt em for life. too serious.

"where will have dinosaur. na li ke neng!"
doesnt understand jokes. prolly tot u were saying smth more serious and down-to-earth

"huh"
tis kinda ppl v blur! dey focus on doing their stuffs when dey are busy.
and totally ignore u but just payin lip service.

----------------------------------------------------
the above ans are customise to my colleagues character.
so it might nt be suitable for u.
just a small joke. LOL
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quarrels.

angry.

tired.

disappointed.

dull.
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back aft whacking ytd night.
parted with shurong at 9 i think. den waited until 12 for jerry to come down.
whack at tajong pagar.

and shurong told mi ytd that she's got a kitty box tt i want!!
lols. gonna get it frm her real soon!!

woke up only at 4 today.
so didnt go out shopping with mummy.
and she's watching her new dvds right down.
and im jus stil oh-so-tired.

and my pocket has got a hole!
rem i said i shop until i was back to sq one.
and now i realise i need 500 bucks more to go shopping in taiwan!!!
BIG BIG HOLE!
but lucky i stil have some savings in my bank. muahahah.
mummy's bad bad bad.
she doesnt sponser mi overseas shopping animore LA!!
but since im working, y nt i pay myself right!!
if nt everyone stil start saying im a unfilial small ger again.

work on ytd was stil feeling extra.
practically i had nothing to do.
and in e end i had to pack e storeroom instead.
use head think la!! 1 person's job shared by 3 ppl.
how to be busy lidat!




and to what i realise, the world is stil as childish as ever.
ppl act like sayin they are matured.
and start to condemn ppl by sayin they are childish.
what's wrong.
cant dey see they are e childish ones?

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so tired today!! even thou i slp at 11 ytd night

feel so sicky today. had swollen eyes ytd night.
and it was still swollen early in e morning.
but gets better aft a while.
and by 10am, i had a bad bad headache! and gulp down 2 panadols.
and had no appetite for lunch. so ate only porridge and 1 veg.

aft tt pain comes again at 3.
and another 2 panadols down. and finally settled.

the flu virus is spreading ard e office!!
infectious air borne!!

tml's a friday. and qiang promise mi to go all out tml.
YAY so long didnt go partying already.
but stil unsure of e programme. cus everyone is working la!
esp qiang de fwen, cus dey working in e entertainment industry.
so definately working on friday night.

let me i enjoy myself tml!!

and my work is irritating.
cus like i say before, dey claim to be too bz with their work and hence, no one to teach mi anithing.
and also hence, i have nothing to do.
and im like a BALL OKAY.
asked A if i have anything to do. she passed mi to B
B says he's busy and pass mi to C
C also claims busy den back to A
A pass mi to D and blah blah...
end up i feel so......
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-


EXTRA!!!
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im seriously going bonkers.

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muahahahahah
i know i went missing. jus kinda tired.
sstil cant get use to e working hrs. even aft 2wks. -.-
and im like tiring myself out and wkends, i slp alot alot!!
recharged for mon to begin fighting e war.

and its july already!!
2 tinks to note.

the 7% issue.
e latest fri, last fri before gst rise.
went for late night shopping at orchard.
and it was.. cOOL.. alot of ppl i would say.
and i spent SGD200.
the last day before gst rise. on sat...
yes, i spent another SGD210.
i know i suck. i jus spent all my pay tt i've been mugging for 2 wks.
so now im back to sq 1.
seriously, i need to find somewhere tt pays me better!

hey man. its july already!
its like, wow, half e yr is already GONE.
i dunwan to get older!! pls.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mth end and mth start is vvv bz for me.
so wun have e time to update as frequent.
but i doubt anyone misses mi!!!! CRIES

work's tml again..
meeting darling later. for no reason.
and going to take my cam back frm cheryl later.
and i heard taiwan is vvv sunny!!
tt means i should invest more in sunblocks and sunglasses!
i hope i dun get any darker aft e trip.
and HEY. im going to taiwan soon! 19 more days. YAY

and i will miss my darling, shurong, my colleagues, my auntie, my cousins, my house, my bed, my com, ..................................................................................
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