jus feeling so random.
like so many thing i've been promised to.
and finally i know its nt gonna come true.

i should have know better frm e start.

oh so stupid stupid.
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been drinking for 3 days straight!!
how power is that.

and getting drunk for 2 days. but not to e extend of lying down and stop moving.
jus tt cant really rem wad happen when u woke up.

and that one day i was super sober,
i had e responsibilty to send her home.
HERE GUYS LISTEN!!
y do u like to stop ppl frm getting drunk??
if u were on e verge of getting drunk, would u really have e self control to stop?
so dont ever stop a person frm drinking.
wads wrong with getting drunk when ur trusted friends are ard?
and ur bf is even there.
WHAT IS WRONG what is wrong what is wrongg??!!


oh, and i finally witness how it feels being sent ard by a chauffeur.
a real driver that's it. nt ur friend or anything.
made me really impressed.


and a horrible pimple pops out just because i ate popcorns.
lots and lots of popcorn and butter.
woah.
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hahahahhahahahaha
nothing to be happy abt thou.
lols. recently has been traveling in wil's car.
and aft traveling in it for like the whole aftnn
i can even imagine the turbo sound running inside my head.
vhoommmmm~`..
but of cus i haben got a chance to hear it outside of the car.
but even when e car isnt moving, it's got deep bass.
but one teeny weeny prob. he's spending way too much on that car.
but its s'pose to be likdat.
lik shurong says, we're crazy over shopping, he's crazy over cars.

oh yes. i jus bought a nail polish for over 20bucks.
i think im really going crazy without darling.
but its okay, i tell myself.
one life live it. rt rt?? wad if i die tml, at least i wun regret nt buying tt nail polish.

anw i suddenly jus love the 'we are the champion song'
bear with me til i get sick of it okay?

ooooooooooooooohhh jus so boring rt.
its another damn mon night.
sitting quietly waiting for friday to come.
den aft fri waiting for 9oct to come.
the m1 ad is so so correct. rem e one tt says duno hw many %% of ur life is spent on waiting?
com'on admit it!! we're all waiting to die.. -.-

p/s the carcass is gone already! gone gone gone.
wonder wad happen to it. my deepest sympathies

lack of real gd slp lately.
been slpin on bus. i know tt's nt very very nice.
but i cant help falling aslp!! at least i have e decency to wake myself up when my head starts to fall left or right.

okok night!! gonna slp, otherwise tml'll be slping on e bus again.
very UGLY i know!!
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i almost died today.
went drinking ytd and really did make me drunk.
and working today.
and i look so bloody tired and drunk when i go for work today.
and even got a complaint tt my clothes were too casual.
lols. not in e correct mind to think of wad clothes to wear anymore.
lols.


im having a real bad bad bad hipcups now.
it makes my heart ache as well.
pls stop it!! my lungs part is suffering!!!

and mommy suddenly gave me permit to buy a new cellphone.
which is jus so unexpected.
but it make me spoilt for choice.
suddenly im given lotsa freedom.
but nt at going out.
last time mommy knew i was going out with qiangqiang always.
and she knew deep in her heart darling would protect me.
now he's gone, mommy always question me who im going out with.
and to tc of myself cus darling's nt ard to protect me.

how swt. even thou she didnt really offiically approved darling.
but deep down she loves him for taking care of me.


and there's a carcass near my office.
disgusting rt.
i think it's a cat. which has already discomposed.
and i tot i saw the bones.
it was dug up frm e ground.
u can still see the big hole in the grd v clearly.
but the carcass looks like a big lump of roots too.
but its getting smellier.
day by day, cus we walk past dere every aftnn for lunch.
disgusting. the tots of tt irritates me
i wan darling!!

&& i played a v bad joke on my friend.
cus i was scolding him BASTARD
den in return he called me BITCH
by defination, a BASTARD is the son of the BICTH.
and poof, im his mum. call me lao bu.
lols. funny rt.
hey look! im clever ok.

and i suddenly dread studying.
one morning i woke up gettin rdy for work, i suddenly feel like im preparing for exams.
thinking walao, still hafta study later.
zz
im mad im mad. i really dun wanna study.
but study is to get a better future.
but yyy. y cant i find a man to support. lols.
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how saddening.
tml cant get to see him.
haf to wait til tuesday.
i was stil so so looking forward to it.

hw to say it.. urm...
i dun seem to feel anything now.
so cant blog a shit here.
done
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another boring day past.

and i miss him alot. loves.



the world outside is jus too stressful
which sometimes makes ppl do things they cant even imgaine.
i wish adam and eve hadnt ate frm e tree of good and evil.
in tt case we wont be able to feel.
irritated.
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been working my life away. lols.
and days past really fast.

and im really really broke broke broke.
wanted to do down sr dere and open a bottle.
but now no money already. lols.
tt's so so dead.
i need darling to scold me for spending so much.
and to think i still promised him a trip overseas.
seems somehow financially impossible.
lols.
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forget to mention abt my co. event on fort canning 13sept. at night. prolly evening.

models came to my co. for interviews.
and my colleagues was stupid!
one told me to stay far far away, cant fight with em. can sit one corner and cry.
e other one took me inside the rm without any warning
and recommend me to the interviewer.
zz dammit paiseh. lols.

and everybody was going crazy over the girls.
and one even forfeited his half day leave jus to see the girls.
tt's guys for u.

yea, those models were to be at our event.
promoting the automotive headlights i think.
and i even got drag into trying their skirts!
cus one of my colleague asked my boss to wear it.
den she ask me to wear it.zzz
but i was wearing pants tt day la. so jus wear it over my pants.
so the skirt was white. and the belt had LED lights with my co. name blinking.
and small small tiny tubes tt's barely long enough cover.
but the skirt i feel was quite long for sexy.

so white hot tube and white mini skirts, white boots is wad the models would be wearing
so if u've nothing to do, do come down.
but i wun be dere. too tired to go.
for wad man i ask. i see my co. products everyDAY.
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wasted my sat today.
woke at 12 and tot tt i could go shopping
but i went back to slp again.
how stupid.

and now im like itching to go out.
i miss darling and his carefree hrs.
jus a call and we could be out for shopping.
everybody misses him.

monday is getting nearer and nearer.
and my motivation to work is getting lesser and lesser.
wad should i do??!!
been late for the buses every morning cus i didnt wan to wake up.
lols. and morning is like fighting a war.
running to catch the buses.
thinking of strategies to catch my next bus.
and planning a back rd if i really missed the bus.

ytd. early in e morning. and i really mean early. like 3am?
was walking hm frm mall cus my fwen was at mall.
and on e way, a cat followed us!
it was a long straight rd. and we tried to stop. and the cat stopped too.
we walk back, the cat walk back too.
and we had no choice but to carry on walking and i was screaming and whinning all the time
tt's one thing abt cats. dey like to follow ppl.
why why why. its e 2nd time i got followed by a cat.
i know im so useless.
but tt cat really is persistent!
it was really out to follow us.

it has really been a long while since i was out at night.
and i've really enjoyed myself.
nxt time i shall go and find sr on wkdays.
at least she'd sit down and pei me.
lols.







to my beloved darling,
tot of u when i was listening to songs.
had my brain washed by timo ytd.
even thou wad he said was true. i cant help loving u.
i know it may take a long long time.
and u might think tt im stil young and we cant stand the test of time.
i cant promise u that it wun happen but i can promise u tt i will try.
its true tt i've been playin ard.
but i nv forget u.
i nv did once tried to hide tt im attached.
i duno y but i feel so bloody damn useless now.
u'd be heartbroken to see this, i know.
but i dont even know wad im trying to say.
i jus hate him for coming back at this pt of time when u're not ard.
and i've become dependant on him.
darling, can u come back and chase him away.... i miss you.
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i saw a hunk today!!
and he's simply gorgeous
like e perfect man every lady wished for. at least tt's wad i tink
to describe. would be like the male lead actor in a porn show for ladies. LOL


he's so so muscular!
and his v shaped body is so so obvious.
and his chest so protruding.


omg i swear i was drooling when i saw him on e mrt.
and took half a dozen glance at him. or more on his body
its so out-of-this-world. the perfect figure for men.
and he does seems like a gym instructor or smth.
except tt he's wearing office attire. vertical strips shirt and pants. drools.....


cant stop dreaming. lol.
i've nv ever been so crazy abt peeping at strangers
and i was so paiseh when he look my way.
and pretend i dun care a hoot abt him. lols.

i wish darling was like that too.
other men would be envious of him too.
i shall ask him to get fit when i see him the nxt time.

oh yes. and this monday.
i was on my way to see darling.
sitting on a motorbike frm amk.
and it first started off as a drizzle
den heavy downpour.
and i was all the way drenched frm amk to adam rd.
when the rider finally cant stand e coldness anymore den we stop at adam food centre.


so so funny. and we ate panadol for colds even before we got sick.
so kiasu rt. lol.
but suprisingly i didnt get sick.
but not the rider.
and i was feeling really bad abt tt.



and we played a pretty bad prank on my collegue
lets jus say we ARE going to.
we made a bet. rem i said he was gay?
so we bet if he was gay or not.
the other guy says cus im attached, so the gay treated me v cold.
i say no! he's gay cus he treat the guys v gd and me v bad.

so we drafted out a plan.
he's to tell the gay im out of love and see his nxt move.
lol. okok so bad right.

but i guess i'll win. really. he is gay. =X



off to my wondeful little world with sexy hunks.
swt drms!
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my mind is like a whirlpool.
stop this! so messy and so irritated by the slightest stuffs.

tml's gonna be a busy busy day.
incidentally, i need to take few hrs off when tml's gonna be the busiest day of the mth.
i feel so indebt to my co. as dey jus decided to give me payrise.

so so tired
haben settled down yet.
so even the slightest stuffs needs my attention.
feel like pushing everything away and jus concentrating on darling.
and of cus work.

yawns. work work work. idiotic.

no work no money
no money no shopping
no shopping no fun
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only a wk has past and im feeling more then miserable.
and shurong has gone out of town with her bf.

scheduled visiting is at tml.
i'll have to sacrifice my lunch hrs then.

oh yes. and my pay rise.
i've ask my sup for a payrise since my 3mths contract is ending soon.
and it'll be extended.
so dey agreed and gave me a pay rise of 50cnts.
sounds pathetic i know. but its 80bucks more per mth!
so tt concludes, u'll nv get if u nv ask.

and i've finish using my night whitening lotion but no use la!
and ppl are saying i seem to get even darker.
ahhh fine. forget abt whitening already. im ko-ed.

went orchard on friday.
it was late night shopping. but i went dere to hand in my timesheet.
all along, it was darling who accompanied me.
and now, shurong. but she's out of town. so i went alone.
went shopping a lil too. but was really feeling empty.
i mean. look at all those ard u, dey have friends with em.
and i feel jus like an alien. zz
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